Sunday, March 04, 2012

Taking Care of the "Me" in "Mom"

Those of you who have been keeping up with my blog know that I have felt quite overwhelmed as a mom lately.
I have been trying hard to read and listen to uplifting things and that has helped some.
But when I ran across the description of this workshop, I thought it sounded like just what I needed. 
Here's a description of the Taking Care of the "Me" in "Mom" Workshop:
A fabulous, interactive Power of Moms workshop that will help you learn how to effectively develop and take care of that little “me” inside the mom. Just like everyone else in the family, moms need nurturing and support as they strive to meet their personal goals and become all that they’re meant to be. At this workshop, we’ll help you assess how you’re doing mentally, emotionally, physically, socially and spiritually, help you learn to say “yes” and “no” to the right things, and help you more fully accept yourself as you celebrate your own unique talents and abilities.

At the end of February, I left a comment on a blog that was giving away a free spot to this exact  Power of Moms workshop.  There were less that 10 women who left comments on the blog, and I was randomly chosen winner!  It was a great uplifting evening for me.  There were 10 ladies who attended the workshop.  I didn't know any of them, but it was fun to learn and get to know the ladies a little bit that evening.  I left with so many great ideas of what I can do to improve my level of satisfaction as a mom of three young kids and the wife to my best friend.

 If you're a mom and get the opportunity to attend this workshop, DO IT!  You won't regret it.  
Here are the notes that I took at the workshop.  I've attached links to a good books and article that you can review too.  Enjoy!
 5 Facet Review of Self:  1. Social  2. Mental  3. Spiritual  4. Physical  5. Emotional
"Mommy is a Person" - Article by April Perry -Set boundaries so that your basic human needs can still be met.  The goal is to thrive, not just survive.  *Challenge: Choose one boundary you're going to set so that you can still feel like you are a person.  List 5 things that you need to thrive.

If you take care of yourself, your kids will notice.  Your kids are watching you and if they see your good example of self care, they'll take care of themselves too.
The Mormon Channel's interviewer asked Stephanie Nielson (of Nie Nie Dialogues) "What do you fall back on when times are tough?"  Her answer, "My husband."  Don't forget that your husband cares deeply about you and your well being.
SOCIAL - Book "Depression is Contagious" by Michael D. Yapko, Ph.D - Depression is one of the greatest tools of the adversary.  - How much do we gain from our relationships?  - When you are happy in your primary relationships, you're just happier.  - Coping skills - different stages of motherhood require different skills.
MENTAL - The importance of spontaneity and having fun for our mental well being.  - Cherish those beautiful moments.  - Have something to look forward to.  - Look up (Google) random monthly holidays and choose a few to celebrate with your family.  - Taking breaks is important.  - "Mommy's Naptime" - Article by April Perry - Nap for 26 minutes - Use your discretionary time wisely.  - Be deliberate with your time and set time limits.  *Challenge:  Make sure you have time to yourself every day.  
SPIRITUALITY - Feed your spirit.  - Nuture your spirit.
PHYSICAL - Exercise, diet, appearance, sleep - Decide to love your physical appearance today.  - Pick what is important to you about your appearance and guard that. (You may feel fine about your appearance most days as long as _________. - my hair is looking good, my makeup is on, etc.)  ROCK ANALOGY: a glass mason jar represents your day and a pile of rocks of varying sizes represents all the things you need to complete that day.  The smaller rocks are the little things (not so important things) you need to accomplish and the larger rocks are the bigger things (most important things) you need to accomplish that day.  If you fill your jar first with little rocks, the big rocks won't fit.  If you put the larger rocks in first, the little rocks will fit in the jar.  So, we should accomplish the bigger things in our day first before the little things.
EMOTIONAL - Avoid comparing yourself... compare snare.  - "The pursuit of happiness is the leading cause of unhappiness." - Be grateful for what you have now.  - Be your own kind of perfect mother.  - Do small things with great love.  - Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones.  (i.e.  Replace the thought, "None of my pants fit me." into "There's just more of me to love.")  - You wouldn't want your kids to have these negative thoughts running through their heads every day.  It is important for us as mothers to set good examples of controlling our thoughts.  - ANTS = Automatic Negative Thoughts (Squash the ANTS.)  - Don't dwell on negative thoughts.  - "You'll never plow a field if you keep turning over the same thoughts."  
- Figure out your formula for success and protect it.  - Set boundaries (Ask yourself, "What should I be doing now?) and protect what is important to you.  - Just because I can doesn't mean that I should.  -  Two daily list ideas can include: 1.  MUST DO  2. SHOULD DO  3. WOULD LIKE TO DO.  and the other idea is to do something nice every day for 1. YOURSELF  2. YOUR FAMILY  3. OTHERS. -  MARGINS= breaks, wiggle room with your boundaries *Challenge: Make a list of the rules.  - Do that which only you can do and that must be done now.  Realize that there are some things in life that are only worth doing "good enough."  *Challenge:  What are some things you can do now with your life?  What things should you do later?  
Once a week, review your 5 facets and how you are doing in each area.  Make improvements where needed.  *Suggestion:  every Sunday night, make time to review how you are doing.  
"S.M.A.R.T. Goals" Podcast   SMART Goals are: S = Specific, M= Measurable, A=Achieveable, R=Relevant, T=Timely.  Share some of your goals with your kids and invite them to set goals too.  
Learning Circles  sound like a great idea for moms to learn from each other after reading thought provoking articles.  Each article has a challenge for moms to complete and report on the next time the group meets together.  
This is a very special picture to me.  I think it's the ONLY picture I have of me with all three of my kids looking at the camera.  My husband took it after Brian's birthday party.  We had so much fun spoiling our 7 year old.  I want to be the best mom I can be for these kids of mine.


Mindy said...

Wow, great recap! Thanks for posting this! It was fun to meet you at that workshop. Your kids are ADORABLE. Hope you are doing well!

Lindsay said...

It's funny because when I'm feeling overwhelmed or down, these are some of the things I do!!! I feel bad that I didn't share them with you before now, but I'm glad you got to go to this workshop and hear them. Warm weather is coming and that always helps me gain new prespective (I think that's why we have change in seasons)!!!
Love ya