Every Husband's Question

(My friend, Karla had this posted on Facebook today. It was a good one that I thought I'd share.)

What do you do all day??

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and 20 wrappers strewn all around the front yard.

The door of his wife's car was open, and so the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.

In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing.

In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled onthe counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.

He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles ofclothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or thatsomething serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door.

As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toysstrewn over the floor.

Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls.

As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in thebed in her pajamas, reading a novel.

She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went.He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?'

She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?

'Yes,' was his incredulous reply.

She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'

Send this page to a woman.

This is Priceless.

The Sunday Funnies

The prospective father-in-law asked, "young man, can you support a family?"

The suprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves.________________________________________

It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for.

"People held them over Jesus 'head as he walked by," his older brother explained.

"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"

__________________________________

One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg.

He pointed to the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"

"I know!" a little boy explained. "Pantyhose!"

_________________________________

Some Great Truths About Life:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge... Mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground.

5) Laughing is good excercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.

_______________________________

A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."

CoUNTRY CoTTAGE CuTiES

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Oliver!

Oliver who?

Oliver across the road from you!

Ha Ha Ha...We're SO funny!
And WE look pretty cute together too, don't we?!

GuESS WHo?!?!

iT'S BRiAN!

DoN'T Be A LoSER

CLiCK PHoTo To ENLaRGE

How come a TiE is the most common Father's Day gift anyway? I have never understood that one. I hope to find a better alternative this year. Do any of you out there have any fun Father's Day gift ideas? How about any fun Father's Day traditions?

MUST BE MoRMoN!!!

Do you see what I see on Brian's forhead?! Looks like his first horn will pop out real soon... 'bout time!
From the looks of that nasty bruise, it looks like horn growing would hurt. But according to his happy smiling face, I guess it hasn't phased him. What a SAiNT!

CANdy GrAm [Blog Version]

Dear SAM,


... your giNORmOuS birthday card. Happy 29th Birthday! Exactly 365 days from now, we'll be celebrating your 30th birthday. That's when we can all at you entering a new decade of your life. What will happen when you turn 30? Will all of your hair fall out? Will you turn into a Mr. ? Who knows?! So, for those very (reasons), you better live it up this year. We've done many adventurous things so far, but I think that our biggest adventure yet will be flying to NEW with our boys. Hope ya know just how much I appreciate you. You're the best man that I know. I'm so glad that you're my man. I get to keep you forever and ever...Lucky me :)
LoVe Your -- LiSA

THIS BOY just GETS Moms!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! Watch this with your kids:

Alec Greven's Advice For Making Moms Happy

Happy Hour

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Venting

*** Pictured below is an article I read on my friend, Renee's blog. (Sorry, I don't have the proper link to her blog.) Anyway, I thought the article gave a great summary of what a typical day of a stay-at-home mom is like with young kids.


CLICK TO ENLARGE (so you can read the article)

After reading this article, it made me think of what my friends without kids think I do all day as a stay-at-home mom. I most certainly am not turning into this, I promise:

I am a super hard worker. I strive to stay fit and take good care of myself. If I don't take good care of myself, I would have a harder time being a good wife, mother, sister, and friend.

Hopefully none of my friends think that I don't have time for them. I try my best to keep up with my friends and what's going on in their lives. Thank goodness for blogging and Facebook for making keeping in touch a whole lot easier. It's hard for moms of young kids to talk on the phone for hours on end and it's nice to be able to send friends a quick email or note to let them know that we are thinking about them. Don't get me wrong, I love phone calls from friends, I just don't usually have the energy or patience to listen to somebody yaking on the phone while my kids are screaming and pulling on my pantlegs for my attention.

F.Y.I. The best time to call me is about 7:30pm, when my wonderful husband, Sam is putting the boys to bed.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent. I feel much better now.

I licked my sister on your car because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.

I thought this was quite random but so much fun on Facebook. I wanted to do it here. Have fun!

Pick the month you were born:
January-------I kicked
February------I loved
March--------I karate chopped
April----------I licked
May----------I jumped on
June----------I smelled
July-----------I did the Macarena With
August--------I had lunch with
September----I danced with
October-------I sang to
November-----I yelled at
December-----I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1-------a birdbath
2-------a monster
3-------a phone
4-------a fork
5-------a snowman
6-------a gangster
7-------my mobile phone
8-------my dog
9-------my best friends' boyfriend
10-------my neighbour
11-------my science teacher
12-------a banana
13-------a fireman
14-------a stuffed animal
15-------a goat
16-------a pickle
17-------your mom
18-------a spoon
19------ - a smurf
20-------a baseball bat
21-------a ninja
22-------Chuck Norris
23-------a noodle
24-------a squirrel
25-------a football player
26-------my sister
27-------my brother
28-------an iPod
29-------a surfer
30-------a homeless guy
31-------a llama

What is the last number of the year you were born:
1--------- In my car
2 --------- On your car
3 ----------- In a hole
4 ----------- Under your bed
5 ----------- Riding a Motorcycle
6 --------- sliding down a hill
7 --------- in an elevator
8---------- at the dinner table
9 -------- In line at the bank
0 -------- in your bathroom

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White---------because I'm cool like that
Black---------because that's how I roll.
Pink-----------because I'm NOT crazy.
Red-----------because the voices told me to.
Blue-----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green---------because I think I need some serious help.
Purple---------because I'm AWESOME!
Gray----------because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--------because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown---------because I can.
Other----------because I'm a Ninja!
None----------because I can't control myself!

Now type out the sentence you made, in the TITLE line and tag your friends in the note!

Dr. in the House

This has been a long week. Brian caught a nasty cold, resulting in water eyes, a runny nose, and lots of sneezing. Needless to say, he stayed home from preschool. Our week has been full of lots of TV watching, snotty tissues, and sad faces. The Dr. in our house came up with a new snot catching technique:



Don't you love Dr. Brian's Band Aid Mustache?!

Tyler just caught the cold. Poor baby! Will the snot ever end?!

Tyler's First Date!

Hey, baby girls! This is Tyler again! I know you're all dying to hear about my Valentine's Day date with Clara. So here goes:

Before leaving on my date, I knew that I would need lots of money. So I broke open my piggy bank. I took all the money and put it in my wallet. I got dressed up and went to have a quick chat with Mommy.



Mommy warned me that Clara lived far away and she couldn't drive me all the way to Boise, Idaho. So I took matters into my own hands. Since I was trying my best to impress Clara, the Birthday Girl, I felt I should arrive in style. So, I flew up to the Boise, Idaho airport (in my private jet) where I met up with Clara and her family. Clara looked absolutely gorgeous and her family was very nice.

Mommy also warned me before my date that girls want to be treated like a lady at all times. Because I haven't been around girls much, I wasn't sure what it meant to "treat her like a lady." But I knew what a treat was... so I had lots of "treats" planned for Clara.

The first "treat" was a ride in a limo. Not just any limo... a pink limo. I heard that pink was her favorite color.


Having never been to Boise before, the lovely Clara thought it would be nice to show me around her hometown in the limo. She showed me lots of her favorite places. We got hungry and I told our chauffeur to take us to IHOP.


I was a gentleman and opened the doors for Clara and helped her to her seat. We enjoyed our meal there. I knew that her favorite meal was waffles and syrup, so we got waffles. The waitress said that they didn't serve waffles with syrup, but I "treated" her with something new to try... Belgian waffles.


They were very tasty. Clara and I each had a straw and ended up sipping our orange juice out of the same cup. It was fun and I think we both got the hang of using straws now. No more bottles or sippy cups for us! A little bit of whipped cream ended up on her nose. Clara put a little whipped cream on my nose so that we would match. I was beginning to think that Clara really liked me. I couldn't help but think to myself, if all continues to go well, this could be me in a few years:
Oh...that is one LUCKY BOY!

After our dinner, we hopped back in the limo. We decided to go on a walk at Julia Davis Park. We had a blast feeding the ducks.


After we ran out of crackers, the ducks followed us for a bit. They finally left as we reached the edge of the pond. I decided to make a big move. I was brave and held Clara's hand. She squeezed my hand, looked at me and smiled. Awww...that made me feel good.


When Clara was in the restroom to freshening up, I bought her another "treat" at a conveniently located flower stand:



I surprised Clara with the flowers and a big wet kiss:



WoWeE...the kiss was amazing! Our chauffeur took us back to Clara's place. We chatted for a few minutes about all the fun we had. I gave her a quick hug she went inside.

***Summary of the night:

My wallet may be empty


but my heart is full.

I AM IN LOVE!!!

Thanks for the fun date, Clara! You are a great gal and I can't wait to see you again!

You Know You've Had Enough Winter When....

Google thinks I need...

This was a fun thing to do. This is what you have to do. You type "(your name) needs" (quotation marks and all) into Google and share the first ten hits you get back. Try it!

"Lisa needs" by Google

1. Lisa needs... braces.
(I've never had braces and my teeth look great!)

2. Lisa needs... to get a life.
(I know I do. Thanks for the heads up, Google.)

3. Lisa needs... a nap.
(I don't take naps. Sleeping is boring.)

4. Lisa needs... a home ASAP.
(Yup, a house is on my wish list.)

5. Lisa needs... your help.
(Hmm...what do I need help with?!)

6. Lisa needs... a tree.
(What would I need a tree for? To climb? To enjoy the tree's shade?)

7. Lisa needs... a bigger grin.
(How could my grin possibly get any bigger?)

8. Lisa needs... a new concealer.
(I just bought new concealer a couple weeks ago, so I'm set.)

9. Lisa needs... help with her vertical blinds.
(I don't have any vertical blinds. Maybe I will once I'm a home owner.)

10. Lisa needs... to get away from family.
(That's for sure. The further away the better. Just kidding, guys!)

Who's Tyler's Valentine's Day Date?!

Hey there, all you baby girls, this is Tyler again! Mommy let me stay up late to help choose my date for tomorrow night. I thought for sure that more baby girls would've left a comment to try to win a date with me. Oh well.

The wait is finally over.

(Drumroll, please)

And the **** WiNNeR **** is:

CLARA!!!

Hey, Birthday Girl, you have won a date with me! I'll pick you up tomorrow night at 6 PM sharp. Have your hair and makeup done when I get there. Shoes on too. I wanna spend as much time as I can with you. I'm SO excited to meet you. See ya soon, sweetheart!

Until then, feast your eyes on this:

FReAkY FRiDaY

Everyone, it's Friday the 13th and man, oh man, do I have a FReAkY experience to share with ya.

Ladies, you know how before you leave home, how you go in the bathroom to make sure you look okay to be seen in public? Like me, you probably do some quick routine things like apply some deodorant, brush (and maybe floss) your teeth, and of course, make sure your hair looks decent. Well, that's what I was doing, those quick and supposedly easy things. I was having issues with my hair and thought that my tiny round brush would do the trick.




***WrOnG!!!!***
This tiny round brush is now my WoRSt EnEmy and let me show you why:


Umm...Yeah, my tiny round brush ToTaLLy got stuck in my hair! DON'T LAUGH AT ME!!! I know ya are, but DON'T! It's NOT nice! I was just trying to curl my messy hair a little! Guess I tried a little too hard.

Guess how long it took me to get the brush out of my hair?!?!

I tried for 30 minutes straight!!!

Well, I lied. It wasn't 30 minutes straight. I had quite the struggle untangling my hair and I just felt the need to snap a photo here and there to document this FReAkY hair situation. This kind of thing doesn't happen to me everyday and I knew that I'd laugh about it later.

CLICK TO ENLARGE

After the 30ish minutes of struggling, I didn't know what to do. I had a vision of how my hair could look in the future:

Ewww! Gross! I NeVer wanna look like HER!

So, I took and deep breath. I realized that I'd need a second pair of hands to solve this FReAkY hair situation. There's no way I'd ask for Tyler or Brian's help. I finally mustered up enough courage to leave the bathroom and face "my public." Sam couldn't believe his eyes. Once he got done laughing at me, he began to help me.

Sam's forceful tug tug tugging of the hair on my head was not well received by my scalp. Did I cry? You betcha! Did I scream? Uh huh! Was the pain harder to handle than labor pains? yes, Yes, YES! I screamed so loud that I bet my neighbors all thought I was a CrAZy woman!

Anyway, one and a half hours later, Sam FiNaLLy got my last piece of hair out of that blasted brush! There were tears of joy and tears of pain. Who knew that a stupid tiny round brush could inflict so much pain?!

POOR, PitifuL ME!

Oh, and FYI, that's not the end of the story. It took another hour to get my hair untangled. Another painful experience.

***Summary: Do not EVER, under any circumstances, use a tiny round brush. YOU WILL GET HURT! People... Please learn from my mistakes. It's far better to have messy hair than to have your scalp and hair traumatized for life! ***