The Sunday Funnies

The prospective father-in-law asked, "young man, can you support a family?"

The suprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves.________________________________________

It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were for.

"People held them over Jesus 'head as he walked by," his older brother explained.

"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"

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One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg.

He pointed to the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"

"I know!" a little boy explained. "Pantyhose!"

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Some Great Truths About Life:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge... Mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held it's ground.

5) Laughing is good excercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the joy.

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A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art."

"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."